I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
