if i can run in heels then i can drive
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize