He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It's shark week go big or go home
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
