Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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