Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
