I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize