When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
