whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
