: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
