His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
