So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
