Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
you had me at cake vodka
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
