Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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