I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
