I like to think it a success when the cops are called
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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