no, he came in my armpit
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
