Is it normal to miss your booty call?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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