i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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