im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Green mimosas i think yes
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
