mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
You're like the curious george of whores
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
