if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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