I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
