You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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