oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
