i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
