His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise