Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(319): View more from Iowa

went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.

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(314): View more from Missouri

What did you even date her?

(214): View more from Texas

because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.

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(520): View more from Arizona

woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes

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(502): View more from Kentucky

bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"

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(204): View more from Manitoba

There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.

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(217): View more from Illinois

He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!

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(973): View more from New Jersey

An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me

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(231): View more from Michigan

Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.

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