Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(408): View more from California

hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)

(650): View more from California

nah, i'm gonna grab some food

Fav 122 5017 36700
share tweet
(518): View more from New York

i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina

Fav 104 12795 1185
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(917): View more from New York City

just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.

Fav 23 6586 963
share tweet
(540): View more from Virginia

I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger

Fav 37 4566 1069
share tweet
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(817): View more from Texas

Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3

Fav 10 3531 1266
share tweet
(815): View more from Illinois

If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.

Fav 3 2500 1115
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(317): View more from Indiana

HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.

Fav 7 2249 837
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night

Fav 4 463 333
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(563): View more from Iowa

You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.

(1-563): View more from Iowa

That's some kind of record drunk there...

Fav 0 52 0
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT