Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.

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  (805): peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees. http://tfl.nu/j4sn
  Replies (11) Good night (2563) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  for doing what?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.

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  (248): ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day. (1-248): for doing what? (248): for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home. http://tfl.nu/ju4n
  Replies (33) Good night (2565) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?

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  (514): i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome? http://tfl.nu/1uvu
  Replies (18) Good night (3584) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...

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  (432): ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today... http://tfl.nu/2fwj
  Replies (11) Good night (2356) Bad night (1011)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy

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  (778): I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy http://tfl.nu/o3jf
  Replies (19) Good night (5624) Bad night (1271)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.

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  (410): He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week. http://tfl.nu/7fuh
  Replies (62) Good night (7498) Bad night (1569)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.

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  (613): We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed. http://tfl.nu/xcuo
  Replies (6) Good night (2817) Bad night (979)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog

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  (907): Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog http://tfl.nu/oh2n
  Replies (16) Good night (2802) Bad night (1091)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober

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  (716): I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober http://tfl.nu/smc1
  Replies (8) Good night (1659) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice

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  (908): I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice http://tfl.nu/gs1d
  Replies (6) Good night (1255) Bad night (1800)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance

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  (207): when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance http://tfl.nu/dir9
  Replies (4) Good night (1519) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.

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  (604): I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina. http://tfl.nu/byss
  Replies (3) Good night (1182) Bad night (466)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.

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  (347): Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds. http://tfl.nu/v5xi
  Replies (10) Good night (898) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.

  (1-678): View more from Georgia

  Sweet, got a date tomorrow night

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  (678): She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet. (1-678): Sweet, got a date tomorrow night http://tfl.nu/04fq
  Replies (3) Good night (497) Bad night (269)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!

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  (714): I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really! http://tfl.nu/ol8j
  Replies (0) Good night (259) Bad night (357)

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