drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
