Texts From Last Night

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  (831): View more from California

  You should get sea herpes

  (831): View more from California

  I mean sea horses

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  (831): You should get sea herpes (831): I mean sea horses http://tfl.nu/2vm6
  Replies (21) Good night (3903) Bad night (857)
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  (949): View more from California

  i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"

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  (949): i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE" http://tfl.nu/e95g
  Replies (18) Good night (1195) Bad night (4360)
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  (+32): View more from Belgium

  Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.

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  (+32): Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello. http://tfl.nu/agdc
  Replies (55) Good night (7208) Bad night (1626)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs

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  (303): All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs http://tfl.nu/h4tc
  Replies (43) Good night (5388) Bad night (1410)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown

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  (973): well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown http://tfl.nu/5h35
  Replies (14) Good night (928) Bad night (6628)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.

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  (513): he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk. http://tfl.nu/epms
  Replies (7) Good night (3073) Bad night (956)
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  (716): View more from New York

  i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.

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  (716): i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody. http://tfl.nu/l0aj
  Replies (7) Good night (3397) Bad night (890)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.

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  (724): Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately. http://tfl.nu/qxtl
  Replies (8) Good night (2501) Bad night (1466)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.

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  (812): I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday. http://tfl.nu/ol7y
  Replies (11) Good night (2463) Bad night (813)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.

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  (804): I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years. http://tfl.nu/h8vw
  Replies (8) Good night (2054) Bad night (839)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday

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  (808): Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday http://tfl.nu/8jtv
  Replies (11) Good night (1820) Bad night (761)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap

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  (630): 230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap http://tfl.nu/1j0c
  Replies (24) Good night (1055) Bad night (2933)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.

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  (815): I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets. http://tfl.nu/choe
  Replies (4) Good night (1554) Bad night (581)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure

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  (941): I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure http://tfl.nu/4g2x
  Replies (2) Good night (851) Bad night (407)
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  (415): View more from California

  If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning

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  (415): If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning http://tfl.nu/qp15
  Replies (0) Good night (872) Bad night (349)

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