Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work

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  (310 ): I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work http://tfl.nu/s1zl
  Replies (21) Good night (733) Bad night (2965)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting

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  (913): You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting http://tfl.nu/1yn1
  Replies (21) Good night (2854) Bad night (1074)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps

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  (703): i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps http://tfl.nu/14e5
  Replies (24) Good night (1509) Bad night (8348)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.

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  (910): I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome. http://tfl.nu/9kjh
  Replies (27) Good night (9961) Bad night (842)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink

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  (305): he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink http://tfl.nu/w0ij
  Replies (12) Good night (7275) Bad night (1208)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers

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  (248): I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers http://tfl.nu/q3tc
  Replies (7) Good night (2166) Bad night (1155)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.

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  (610): she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard. http://tfl.nu/kg7h
  Replies (7) Good night (916) Bad night (2248)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!

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  (425): WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?! http://tfl.nu/ccm6
  Replies (7) Good night (2692) Bad night (1174)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure

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  (413): you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure http://tfl.nu/kagu
  Replies (6) Good night (3432) Bad night (676)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.

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  (717): You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome. http://tfl.nu/k5p0
  Replies (6) Good night (640) Bad night (2367)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.

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  (817): No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds. http://tfl.nu/9tr4
  Replies (11) Good night (2407) Bad night (686)
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  (516): View more from New York

  New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete

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  (516): New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete http://tfl.nu/uf35
  Replies (5) Good night (1119) Bad night (576)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns

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  (602): It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns http://tfl.nu/skwr
  Replies (3) Good night (737) Bad night (317)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  Way to crack the case Nancy Drew

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  (406): Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced (1-406): Way to crack the case Nancy Drew http://tfl.nu/rhym
  Replies (5) Good night (666) Bad night (446)
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  (625): View more from

  You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.

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  (625): You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance. http://tfl.nu/hgkc
  Replies (1) Good night (341) Bad night (208)

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