Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
