and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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