R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
