Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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