I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
