I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
my poor anus
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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