Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
