there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
