I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
