my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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