i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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