I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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