Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
