u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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