I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Found the puke drawer
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Randomize
