I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize