Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So much Jack, so little girl.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
