mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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