so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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