P.S. I can't hear my feet
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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