I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
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There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
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I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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