I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize