Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
