i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize