you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
