Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
