I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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