The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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