I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
