I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
