the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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