Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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