god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Randomize
