So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
