Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
