dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
