Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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