All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
