I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
