I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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