There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
